The Rapha Festive 500 is a challenge to ride 500 kilometers (310 miles) between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. I’ve never actually completed the Rapha Festive 500, sometimes for good reason and sometimes not.
For a long while, the miles only “counted” if you rode outside because, of course, Rapha follows the Velominati, and there’s some stupid unwritten rule that trainer miles don’t count. Also, Rule #5: Harden The Fuck Up.
Until this year, I never had a job that gave me enough vacation to take the time off between Christmas Eve and New Year’s. I also was never “hard” enough to ride 44 miles outside after work, in the dark, cold winter.
So, even when I rode 45 miles on the trainer on Zwift and usually hit 310 miles on New Year’s Eve, it never counted. And when I say “counted,” you got a Rapha Badge on Strava (which is yet another dick-measuring contest), maybe a 10% discount on Rapha’s already incredibly expensive cycling apparel, and you got to show off your Rapha-branded daily mileage log on Instagram.
I get it, okay? Challenging yourself can be fun. But over the past few years, I’ve realized the holidays are already stressful enough, and cycling is already selfish enough, that it’s like, why put this additional pressure to ride an average of 44 miles a day for 7 days in a row? That means finding a few hours on Christmas to get in those miles, or doubling up a few days so you can spare others.
Try as I did, I could never seem to get in all those miles outside.
But now, it looks like Zwift miles count—which I could easily do. I’m on Zwift entirely too much, but it’s because it’s really fucking easy to jump on a trainer inside the house, without a jersey, music blaring, a toilet, a shower, and snacks right where I need them. I don’t have to drive anywhere. I don’t have to pull out all of my gear to stay warm, and then when I get too hot, have to Tetris all my layers into my three tiny jersey pockets.
Call me whatever you want to call me—Zwift is convenient, and that’s what I need nowadays.
BUT.. I still think the Rapha Festive 500 is a dick-measuring contest (Honestly, most of cycling feels like a dick-measuring contest.) Who really cares that you rode 310 miles in 7 days? You literally win nothing other than accolades from your cycling buddies who probably also rode those miles with you. With that being said, here are some alternatives to the Rapha Festive 500:
1. Relax
I don’t really know how to relax, so I’m not the best person to suggest this, but I understand it in theory. If you have $500 to buy a Rapha kit, go buy 5 massages instead. Then go get one every day between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. Or get one. Who cares how many you get, but get a massage if nothing other than to relax.
Or sit in a bath. You could even add Epsom salt for recovery.
2. Hang out with your friends and family
Cycling, as I said earlier, is a selfish activity. Your family can’t (won’t) come along. It’s you and your buddies (or you solo). And maybe you don’t like your family, which is understandable. But it’s not every day you have the chance to get together, so why not set aside some time for them?
There’s 343 days that you can ride your bike. Maybe, instead of “challenging” yourself to ride 310 miles in a week, challenge yourself to express gratitude to your friends and family. Especially the ones who come out to your parking lot crits early in the morning with their cowbells.
3. Work on your weaknesses
If it isn’t our rhomboids, it’s our knees or low back. When’s the last time you stretched or foam rolled or single-led pedaled on the bike? Now’s a great time to work on things you suck at. Spend 500 minutes (that’s about 8 hours) over the next week working on weaknesses. It may not be enough to notice a difference (because change comes with consistency over a period of time), but it’ll help you see how important it is to take care of your body off the bike too.
4. Try a different sport or activity
When’s the last time you went hiking or running, or hell, bowling? Not only is it good to give cycling a break, but doing other sports can actually make you stronger on the bike. Maybe you’ll find something new you like that’ll complement the bike. Even better, it doesn’t complement cycling, but it brings you joy. And if you don’t end up liking the thing, there’s always the bike the first of the year.
5. Find a new (or rekindle an old) hobby
I’ve always been a writer, so I at least have that going for me if I lost cycling. I also love to read, draw, paint, and listen to music. Do you have something else you enjoy as much as cycling? If so, do that for the week. If not, spend the week finding that thing. It’s good to be two- or three-dimensional. If you lost the bike, what would you do to fill your time? What’s something you used to do before you started cycling? Go do it.
6. Catch upon sleep
A lot of us don’t get as much sleep as we should. If you’re one of them, prioritize sleep this week. You’ll be amazed at how great you feel when you get the amount of sleep you need. I used to pride myself on waking up at 4:30 AM to get my training in before the workday. That’s probably how I got so dependent on caffeine—and now I’m paying for it.
7. Volunteer
Is there a way to give back to the cycling community over the week? I don’t know if there will be many cycling-specific volunteer opportunities, but it doesn’t hurt to ask around. See if your local bike shop needs help, or if there’s any trail maintenance you can help with. Imagine the difference you could make if you spent 500 minutes giving back.
I think you all get the idea. There’s an abundance of things you can do instead of forcing yourself to ride 310 miles in a week. I mean, if you’re into it, it makes you happy, and you’re not missing out on friends and family time, then by all means, go forth and cycle.
This past year has shown me that biking is supposed to fun. I don’t need to “should” myself into doing things. In fact, I shouldn’t should myself. If riding that many miles is fun for you, do it. If it stresses you out, or you find yourself comparing your mileage to someone else on Instagram or Strava, don’t do it. It’s a silly challenge for shits and giggles. There are so many more things you can do with your time. Go have fun.
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