Feathering the brake is a specialty of mine when it comes to mountain biking. Not only had it been several months since I was last on a mountain bike, but I was also on my new mountain bike with a different kind of gearing and setup. I was on a trail I’d never been on before and I was on terrain that scared me the most: loose dirt.

Chris watched me inch down the winding trail, likely losing patience when he finally yelled, “Let go of the brake!” In the most loving and tender why I could, I shouted, “Shut the fuck up!”

It was at that moment when I realized I lost most of the confidence and skills I gained from riding last year and I needed to find those as soon as possible if I was going to do okay at Leadville 100.

Mountain bikers zoomed around me, none of us wearing face masks.

We tried to get to the trail early but a ton of others had the same idea as us. It’s been challenging to get out on the mountain bikes during this shutdown and for the past several months I’ve stuck on the trainer (which is a privilege). Sure, I likely have the endurance for the event but the trainer does nothing to aid in skill development. To get better at something you have to do that thing over and over again.

I know I’m not the only struggling to get in their training for Leadville 100. I’ve been trying to follow the state guidelines and not be a selfish asshole. Because of this, my training has suffered. I understand that there are bigger problems afoot, like millions of job losses, a contagious and deathly virus running amok, and a lot of lives ruined. I’m grateful to have my health, income, and a relatively stable life.

We received an email from Leadville/Life Time the other day asking us to fill out a survey. Based on the questions asked, they’re likely deciding whether or not to cancel the race. Within the survey, they asked how much lead time would we want in registering for a race, if we’d still race under new guidelines (no spectators, wearing masks in competition), and if we’re not ready to participate in an event, why. I’ve answered surveys from BRAC and USAC as well asking similar questions.

After the three surveys I completed within the past week, I’m wondering what the future holds for bike races. BRAC is holding a town meeting on Zoom (which will be a shitshow – “please mute yourself if you’re not speaking.” “Hi, can you please go silent?”) to discuss the survey results and reopening.

I’m sort of at this point now that I wonder if it’d be best to defer my Leadville Race Entry to 2021 and nip this in the bud. Leadville is home to less than 2,800 people. They have one hospital that looks like a motel. Doubling their population in one weekend sounds like a recipe for disaster. They’ve already canceled the training camp in June.

If they canceled Leadville 100, would they refund the registration? I know there’s contention among athletes on this point. Should we be okay with losing money knowing that Race Directors have expenses they will not get reimbursed and that they’re struggling to make ends meet? If this was a $35 crit race, that’d be one thing. This is a $500 race. $500 is five weeks of groceries. It’s something that I saved up for.

I also saw comments in a Leadville training Facebook group I’m in with assumptions of not getting a full refund.

Breck Epic, that overlaps Leadville 100, just canceled, well “postponed” until 2021. Mike McCormack, (I’m assuming), The Race Director, wanted to provide as much notice as possible because he realized people needed to know sooner rather than later. ⅓ of their registrants are international. I’m guessing that’s the same with Leadville, if not more so. They are offering comp codes for people registered this year to use next year. My hope is for Leadville to do that as well.

It begs the question: Are they like Mike and give a shit about their racers? Or, do they only care about profit? Obviously, it’s no longer the husband and wife putting on this race alone. It’s run by Life Time Fitness, a giant company, who has likely seen dips in revenue but I think ultimately, it will be okay.

Based on the BRAC survey results, most people don’t plan on racing until there is widespread testing for the virus or a vaccine. From what I’ve read, it doesn’t look like there will be a vaccine this year. Like Tom Petty once said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

It’s a weird position to be in: do I continue to train for something that may get canceled? If it gets canceled, what do I train for then? My husband tells me I’ll be able to ride for fun but part of racing is the training and I actually like it. I like to watch my watts and suffer through intervals. No one’s saying we can’t do that if our race gets canceled but what would be the point then?

My hope is that, if the race gets canceled, I’ll have more time on the mountain bike to gain the confidence needed to rip downhill and to give that brake mind a rest.

Are you going to continue training for a race that gets canceled? Will your training differ? Will you no longer focus on watts and zones and instead, ride with abandon? Let me know if the comments below.

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